F is for Foster. Foster Care that is. As I look over the past couple of years, and our journey as foster parents so far, it often seems surreal. What a trip. We've had some high moments, and our share of low moments.
You get to the point where you know this is what you're being called to, and you find yourself in the training classes. They're great, but are still no substitute for the real deal, the day that that first child is placed into your home.
You find your life turned completely upside down with anticipation, joy, hope, fear. . .
You leave your privacy at the door, because now there are countless people checking on you and the child. DCFS workers, caseworkers, your foster child's GAL, judges, licensing reps. It can get pretty stressful.
I've heard it said about foster care that nothing is final until it's final. The future is uncertain. Will the child go home? Will they be okay? Can their birth parents get it together and keep it together for the child? Can you handle the grief when that child leaves?
So much to consider and deal with. Foster care, foster parenting, is a beautiful, terrible, unsettling, and all around bumpy ride. I've spent my fair share of time thinking I was done. It's too much. It's hard.
But as a famous movie once said, "It's the hard that makes it good." The days when there is a breakthrough in a tough situation with the child. The times when a connection is made with a birth parent. The times when your spirit just whispers that this is what you should be doing.
I don't know where all this will lead, but I feel confident that we're where we're supposed to be for this moment. And it's all I need to know right now.