Deuteronomy 6:6-7

And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. ~ Deuteronomy 6:6-7

Monday, April 9, 2012

The 5 Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell

About the book:

To be their best, children need to feel loved. But if you and your child speak different love languages, your affection might get lost in translation, affecting the child’s attitude, behavior, and development. Dr. Gary Chapman’s groundbreaking Five Love Languages series has helped millions of couples communicate love more clearly, and Dr. Ross Campbell M.D. has applied the innovative system to children as well. The 5 Love Languages of Children gives practical suggestions for learning how your children interpret love and creating a sense of security in which they can thrive.
Unless you've been hiding under the proverbial rock, I'm pretty sure that you're familiar with at least the title The 5 Love Languages. This book, The 5 Love Languages of Children, employs the same theme, the difference being (obviously, I think) that it is tailored for the needs of children. Having two young children, it appealed to me right away.
There is a LOT of information within these pages, and I'll just start at the beginning. I would say that the main point is that our children all have "Emotional Love Tanks" that are in constant need of being filled. Becoming a student to our kids is vital in determining their healthy growth and development. Okay, easy right? Well, maybe, maybe not. There are 5 major Love Languages, and it's our job as parents to discover which is their primary language, and then to speak it to them. Which underscores my statement that we need to become students to our sons and daughters. It takes time. We have to purpose in our hearts to be intentional in this. But the results are so worth it!

What are the 5 Love Languages?

1.) Physical Touch

2.) Words of Affirmation

3.) Quality Time

4.) Gifts

5.) Acts of Service

As I mentioned, it may take some time to get your young ones' love language figured out. But you can do it! Young children in particular may bounce back and forth a bit as they grow, but you can watch for clues that they will give you  in figuring this out. Does your child need your undivided attention constantly? Is she always paying you complements? Is she eternally stuck like glue to your side? Or does she treat each little trinket given to her like it's a sacred treasure? All of these may be hints at what fills her love tank.
And taking the time to learn this will not only strengthen your relationship, but also prevent resentment from building up, allowing her to grow up emotionally healthy.

The book also goes into the ways that this subject and the way a parent disciplines affects a child's heart. Speaking their language can go a long way in not merely getting the behavior you want, but reaching their heart. Knowing and using the right language can not only help us as parents respond in a better way, it may also prevent a lot of acting up.

To quote from the book, "Parents are a child's first and most important teachers." Did you realize that we have a huge impact in shaping the emotional growth of our kids? Gulp. Sobering thought. Nobody ever said this parenting thing was easy.

Another point that really stuck out for me in this book revolved around the subject of anger. Learning how to express and manage anger is vital in developing and keeping healthy relationships, right up into adulthood. Speaking the appropriate love language does so much in teaching this to our kids, as well as learning this for ourselves.

The last chapters of the book speak to those who are single, offering ways to help them in this challenging role.
To end the book, the authors offer a refresher course in Love Languages for married folks, because it is true that children benefit so much more when their parents are seeking to really love their spouse.

This was an easy read; a lot of information, a lot to think about and apply, but easy to understand. There were some sobering messages here, but I felt that the overall tone was positive, telling parents that no matter the stage of their children, there is always hope for change and improvement. This would be a valuable addition to every parent's library.

Some helpful links:!/drgarychapman

“Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or
services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it
on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally
and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance
with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the
Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Now then, would you be interested in a free copy of The 5 Love Languages of Children? I thought so :) All you need to do is:

1.) Follow me here.

2.) Like the 5 Love Languages Facebook page

3.) Tell me how you use the love languages to build your relationship(s) with your child(ren)

Do any or all of these for one entry each. And please leave a comment and email for all so I can contact you if chosen. Go to it!

Giveaway starts now- Monday April 9, 2012, and goes through Tuesday, April 17, 2012. I will notify the winner on Wednesday, April 18, 2012.


  1. I am already following you using GFC ~ Tess

  2. I have one daughter whose love language is quality time so I try to make special dates with her to give some one on one time. ~Tess

  3. I'm following you via Google Friend Connect!

    julestwin (at) gmail (dot) com

  4. I "like" the 5 Love Languages Facebook page!

    julestwin (at) gmail (dot) com

  5. One of my daughters is a total backscratch/backrub lover (loves physical touch), so we regularly give her those! And our other daughter loves words of affirmation, so we compliment her with specific compliments a lot. They shine when they are getting their love needs met! :)

    julestwin (at) gmail (dot) com

  6. I like The Five Love Languages on facebook.

  7. I'm not very good about thinking about my children's love languages. I should pay more attention to that!